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Thursday, December 22, 2005

The Dreidel of Doom, or "Whoville Changed Everything!"

Dispatches from the war on Christmas, courtesy of Fafblog!:

"I hear they got Rudolph today," says me.

"No!" says Giblets. "Not Rudolph! With his unmatched dogfighting skills and his nose so bright he was invincible!"

"It's true," says me. "Zombie Judah Maccabee shot im down over the Island of Misfit Toys with his dreidel of doom."

"Damn you Hannukah!" says Giblets. "Will your eight days of madness never end!"

*     *     *

"Secularists don't decorate Christmas trees," says me. "They decorate Secularmas trees, which are big holes dug in the ground to demonstrate the absence of trees."

"On Secularmas, they do not exchange presents," says Giblets. "They exchange identical cardboard boxes filled with rocks and mold and broken childhood dreams and nothing!"

"But even so," says me, "maybe we can make peace with the secularists by comin to understand their strange but unique culture."

"Never!" says Giblets. "That would only embolden them to steal Christmas again! Whoville changed everything!"

"There was never a convincing link between Hannukah and the Grinch, Giblets," says me.

Givewarbondschristmas

December 22, 2005 at 04:31 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Somewhat Shorter Max Boot

From the Los Angeles Times:

If the President of These United States does not have the unfettered right to abrogate any law whatsoever in the interest of the national defense, then we are doomed, people. Doomed, I say. DOOMED!

Or we could do what the Constitution requires and have Congress and modify the laws as needed.

One of the two.

What?

Update: Political Animal has a more reasoned response, including:

Superhawks always claim their programs are vital to American security, and they almost always turn out to be wrong. We didn't need to intern Japanese-Americans during World War II, we didn't need Joe McCarthy's theatrics during the Cold War, and we didn't need COINTELPRO during the Vietnam War. And when the Church Committee outlawed the most egregious of our intelligence abuses in the 70s, guess what happened?

The Soviet Union disintegrated a decade later.

December 21, 2005 at 11:18 AM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBack

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Best Summary of the Government Spying Crisis & General Fucked-Up-Ed-Ness

Garance Franke-Ruta in TAPPED:

George Bush is trying to overturn the law designed to protect America from another Richard Nixon.

Now, everything is clear.

December 20, 2005 at 05:10 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Iraqi Election Update

From the New York Times:

Early voting results announced by Iraqi electoral officials on Monday, with nearly two-thirds of the ballots counted, indicated that religious groups, particularly the main Shiite coalition, had taken a commanding lead. ...

The results also indicated that much of the electorate is staunchly religious, even though many experts once believed that the country had a large secular middle class....

The results come as a blow to Mr. Allawi, a White House favorite, and his fellow candidates....

An important question is whether the Sunni Arab parties will be invited to join in the new government. They disagree with the religious Shiites on fundamental issues like whether autonomous regions should exist and how oil revenues should be distributed. If the Sunnis are denied their say, that could further inflame the insurgency and possibly undermine plans to draw down the 160,000 American troops here.

Nice. 160,000 American troops defending an Iraqi theocracy.

Impeach him. Impeach him now.

December 20, 2005 at 10:19 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Monday, December 19, 2005

Somewhat Shorter George W. Bush

From his Sunday address to the nation:

  • Some things in Iraq didn't go exactly as planned.
  • It's still really important to establish a "democracy" in Iraq, even if by "democracy" I mean an Iranian-leaning theocracracy.
  • By the way, I elected myself king a little while back, and there's nothing you can do about it.
  • My balls are this big.

Bushtv

Impeach him. Impeach him now.

December 19, 2005 at 08:44 AM | Permalink | Comments (21) | TrackBack