Handsome John Tierney

Though the New York Times started running Handsome John Tierney's column a couple of weeks ago, Pro-War.Com has not yet had the opportunity to dismiss it out of hand as mindless conservative drivel.

It's not that Tierney has been producing good stuff.

He's just written mediocre stuff, and (worse) stuff that wasn't unintentionally funny.

No more.

In today's column, Tierney tackles Social Security. His weapon? The Chilean Plan.

Here's Pro-War.Com's abstract of Tierney's column:

So I've go this friend in Chile, and he says that if I had put my Social Security money into his plan, I'd be rich. Fabulously rich!

In contrast, here is a New York Times abstract of a January 27th, 2005 article:

Chileans find that pension privatization plan launched 25 years ago, which Pres. Bush has cited as model for his plans to overhaul Social Security, is falling far short of what was originally advertised under authoritarian government of Gen. Augusto Pinochet.

That's not good.

Under program, millions of people have been paying 10 percent of their salaries to private investment accounts that they control; many lower-paid workers' contributions were not large enough to ensure even minimum pension of $140 a month; others--those working in underground economy, self-employed or working only seasonally--remain outside system altogether.

That's not good.

Even middle-class workers who contributed regularly are finding that their private accounts--burdened with hidden fees that may have soaked up as much as third of their original investment--are failing to deliver as much in benefits as they would have received under old system.

That sucks monkey ass.

Government continues to direct billions of dollars to safety net for those whose pensions are below minimum.

So congratulations to John Tierney, whose friend is one of the few folk doing well with the Chile Plan.

And a hearty back slap to John as well, for following in the well-worn conservative ways of foisting personal ancedote in lieu of analysis or reason.

But most of all, thank you, John, for not even reading your own damn paper.

You, sir, are truly the equal of William Safire.

Douche.