Noonan Alert: Special "Deez Nuts" Edition

From a recent conversation with Peggy Noonan:

So, Peggy, how are you?

Well, I just can't stop being happy. I don't mean elated--it's hard to get elated by big history, as opposed to by the birth of a baby, say, or a child's being elected president of the debating club--but I continue to feel relief ... and satisfaction ....

That's the Vicodin.

So let's just let the mood continue and have fun.

Fair enough. What's on your mind?

About a year ago I was visiting West Point, and I was talking to a big officer, a general or colonel. But he had the medals and ribbons and the stature, and he asked me what I thought of President Bush.

This should be good.

I tried to explain what most impressed me about Mr. Bush, and I kept falling back on words like "courage" and "guts."

Hmm. Interesting choice.

I wasn't capturing the special quality Mr. Bush has of making a tough decision and then staying with it if he thinks it's right and paying the price even when the price is high and--

I stopped speaking for a moment.

A mitzah!

There was silence.

Such a mitzah!

And then the general said, "You mean he's got two of 'em." And I laughed and said yes, that's exactly what I mean.

You think Mr. I-Fagged*-Out-of-Vietnam has bigger balls than Mr. Triple-Purple-Heart? Shit, Peggy. You wouldn't know a pair of balls if they were bouncing off your chin.

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* To clarify, we use the term "fag" in the schoolyard sense of weak or fearful. No slur as to sexual orientation is intended, and we vigorously decry any and all such insinuatiion. Pro-War.Com believes --firmly, proudly and openly -- that what a man does in the privacy of his own bedroom, with another man, a fistful of poppers and a gimp mask, is no one's business but his own. No one's.

Moreover, we think that anyone who disagrees is himself a fag. Who likes cock.