An Open Letter to Peggy Noonan From Pro-War.Com

It's good to have you back. In your absence, I was reduced to making fun of David Brooks.  It's nice, but it's not the same.

I should warn you that I'm still feeling a bit ... raw -- you might want to check out my open letter to America before we get to yours.

Ready? Good.

Dear Peggy:

You ignorant fucking cunt.

Let's start off with the math.

You write:

[Bush] carried the Catholic vote and won 42% of the Hispanic vote and 24% of the Jewish vote (up from 19% in 2000.)

It will be hard for the mainstream media to continue, in the face of these facts, the mantra that we are a deeply and completely divided country.

No, Peggy. It's pretty fucking easy. 58% of Hispanics voted against your president. 76% of Jews voted against him. You just said so.

Oops. My bad. By "we," you don't mean Hispanics and Jews. You mean the good "Christian" white folk.

You fucking little racist pig.

You continue.

The Democrats have lost their leader in the Senate, Tom Daschle. I do not know what the Democratic Party spent, in toto, on the 2004 election, but what they seem to have gotten for it is Barack Obama. Let us savor.

You fucking little racist pig.

The elites of Old Europe are depressed. Savor. The non-elites of Old Europe, and the normal folk of New Europe, especially our beloved friend Poland, will not be depressed, and many will be happy.

Normal? Normal? What the fuck do you know about normal, Ms. Magical-Dolpins-Saved-Elian?

The leaders of the Bush effort see it this way: A ragtag band of more than a million Republican volunteers who fought like Washington's troops at Valley Forge beat the paid Hessians of King George III's army.

Fucking. Clinically. Insane.

As I write, John Kerry is giving his speech. He looks hurt. Who wouldn't?

You get paid for this shit? Someone pays you?

I told some young people recently who were walking into a battle, "Here's how to fight: You fight until they kill you, until they kill you and stop your heart, and then you let them carry you out of the room. But you fight until they carry." I think that's how the Democrats fought. Good for them.

Speechless. Fucking speechless.

To admit defeat with attempted grace is a moving sight.

Cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt.

[Bush] announced his agenda: reform the tax code, privatize Social Security, help the emerging democracies of Iraq and Afghanistan.

Flat tax, cutting benefits and no fucking clue.

[President Bush said,] "We have one country, one Constitution, and one future that binds us."

You're scaring me. Really.

Who was the biggest loser of the 2004 election? It is easy to say Mr. Kerry: he was a poor candidate with a poor campaign.

Yup. Only got 49% of the vote.

But I do think the biggest loser was the mainstream media.... Every time the big networks and big broadsheet national newspapers tried to pull off a bit of pro-liberal mischief ...

Wait wait wait--this has got to be Rathergate.

... CBS and the fabricated Bush National Guard documents,

She said "fabricated bush."

... the New York Times and bombgate,

We went to Iraq in search of weapons. We didn't find them, and lost the ones we knew about it. It's a problem.

... CBS's "60 Minutes" attempting to coordinate the breaking of bombgate ...

Just shut up.

... the yeomen of the blogosphere and AM radio and the Internet took them down.

Ugliest. Sentence. Ever. And not to put too fine a point on it ... but...

... the blogosphere is on the Internet. One of the Internets.

It was to me a great historical development in the history of politics in America.

Please.

It was Agincourt.

My god.

It was the yeomen of King Harry taking down the French aristocracy with new technology and rough guts.

Stop.

God bless the pajama-clad yeomen of America.

Un. Fucking. Believable.

Some day, when America is hit again ...

NO! NO! NO!

THAT'S THE FUCKING POINT! WE DON'T WANT TO GET HIT AGAIN!

... and lines go down ...

LINES?

...and media are hard to get ...

MEDIA?

... these bloggers and site runners and independent Internetters of all sorts will find a way to file, and get their word out, and it will be part of the saving of our country.

NO! NO! THERE'S NO FUCKING ELECTRICITY!

YOU FUCKING BITCH. YOU JUST SAID THAT THE LINES WERE DOWN. THERE'S NO INTERNET WITHOUT ELECTRICITY. IT'S ELECTRICAL!

YOU JUST SAID THE LINES WERE FUCKING DOWN.

THERE'S NO INTERNET WITHOUT ELECTRICITY.

YOU JUST SAID IT.

Speechless.

Last note. As much as anyone, the POW wives of Vietnam, who stood against the Democratic nominee for president and for the Republican, can claim credit for the Bush victory.

And they can now bury their grandchildren.

Welcome back, Peggy. It's going to be an angry four fucking years.

Love,

Shiva